I find really weird things in life tolerable. Like most changes in one’s personality, I am not really sure when this started to happen. More than tolerable, I may find it fascinating, or may not even realize that to most people’s standards it is strange.
First instance is Friday Night Movies. In my junior year of college I started having my friends over to watch movies in my room. We began with Labyrinth, which, granted, is real weird. Then we continued this theme with The Dark Crystal. Then, a few Korean movies. And then I picked the movies. I chose Mirrormask. Beautiful. They were like, what the fuck is this? Then I chose Running With Scissors. Now….this movie… was about people with mental health problems. I found it hilarious and relatable. My friends found it completely strange. I’m sorry, but finding Jesus in your morning BM is fucking funny. Furthermore, a masturbatorium is not an idea to throw out the window. I thought maybe they were just not opening their minds enough, but then I talked to my mom after she watched it, and we debated over whether or not the mom, played by Annette Bening, was actually crazy to start with. My mom said she had major problems, that she was obviously bipolar. The way she would have outbursts and get really angry. I thought she was just mad at her husband for being so dispassionate. This seemed like a normal, rational reason to get upset and scream at the top of your lungs – to make up for his passiveness. I saw nothing really wrong with her personality before she went on prescription anti-depressants. That was what really fucked her up, and I thought that’s what the point of the movie was. So case in point, what I find reasonable, other people find insane.
Second instance, after my freshman year of college I came back home to Florida for the summer. The biggest, raunchiest party of the year is my friend’s birthday party. We’ll call him SecretGay. He’s Gay, but ssssshhhh! It’s a secret. Even from himself. He’s really good looking. Polish. Sexy. Crazy. He would be a handful. Anyways, so biggest party of the year in my hometown. All the people gather here. My two good friends, Wolverine and L. (both guys) come dresses as women. Wolverine looks like Michael Jackson crossed with Wolverine crossed with a typical Indierock Emofuck. Gorgeous. And then L. comes dressed looking like some Ho, but has really nice painted lips. I almost kissed them, actually. This, to me, was amazing. They shaved their legs. I was totally and unabashedly impressed. The rest of the crowd was 50/50. Some were horrified. Some were turned on. But! The bigger question is- why is this not weird to me? Two straight men dressing up as women for fun to get a rise out of everyone? My best friend, who we shall dub Naivette, ran home to her mommy saying “That was so weird! It was disgusting! I don’t understand why they would do that. Those guys are strange.” Etc, etc.
Maybe it has to do with [adult swim] and video games? I don’t know. I do know, however, that there’s not a lot of things that weird me out.
Now to the heart of what has got me into this train of thought. The Virginia Tech shooting happened two days ago. Today, the package arrived at NBC in New York, and his videos and rantings were released to the world. So, what I’m going to say most likely will shock people. Obviously, he was crazy. No violence could ever be justified. But, I do understand his distress. The things he was rambling about were not totally unreasonable. Every day I went to my high school I had to watch as the rich kids got whatever they wanted, they had the coolest clothes, they would get drunk and wreck their cars and mommy and daddy would go out and buy them a brand new Jaguar or Lexus. Growing up in Sarasota was like living in this bubble, and everyone around you had money except for a handful of people. People in America should be more grateful for what they have. They should be kinder to the earth, and not be so caught up in material things. Treat people with respect and kindness. Abolish their prejudices. He was probably so frustrated with people in general that he snapped. That’s just one perception though.
Admittedly, college is a pretty debaucherous place. And I’m no exception, I’ve definitely had my fair share of debauchery and plan to partake in more of it. Its never without wondering what it is all for. Why am I doing this? How can I let myself get so wasted when I know I'm going to end up doing something dumb, like taking off all of my clothes?
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